It has come to my attention that I really must dispel some rumors that have been circulating about English majors. After extensive research and first hand experience I offer these thoughts about what it means to have received the highly prestigious and incredibly practical degree of a Bachelors of Arts in English.
Not all English Majors . . .
1) want to become teachers. And if someone asks me one more time if that is what I want for a career, I will have trouble responding politely.
2) sepll eveyting corect and alway say prefect grammer. So the next time I have a typo in an email or say “I” instead of “me,” please don’t remind me what I spent four years studying at college.
3) can successfully complete any crossword puzzle. In fact, I’ve had crossword puzzle tutors and spent plenty of bored hours at various jobs attempting to become better and it’s still a struggle. Even the puzzle in the Jackson Hole Daily was challenging, but I’ll let you know when I complete one in the Sitka Daily Sentinel.
4) have read all the classics. I have never started, let alone finished, A Tale of Two Cities, The Grapes of Wrath, or The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Do you think less of me?
5) perfectly understand Shakespeare. And let’s be honest, I never read Shakespeare that I didn’t have the SparkNotes website open on my computer to read the watered down version of 15 lines I just spent 10 minutes trying to figure out.
6) appreciate and comprehend all poetry. Don’t even get me started on Emily Dickinson.
So I hope that helps clear up any confusion. And just for the record, yes, I have worked odd jobs, volunteered, and been unemployed at various times since graduation 🙂